Imaginary
by Samara-chan
Summary: A song fic of Imaginary by Evanescence. Samara tries to fall asleep...


GODS!! I am royally, severely, incredibly, very, extremely, unbelievably pissed.

Someone flamed my poem, "Consuming Darkness," as revenge for flaming someone's fic more than a year ago. Frankly, I have stopped giving flames. This ignorant individual just _HAPPENED_ to have missed the _DATE_ of when I gave it!!!

**UGH. UGH UGH UGH.**

Well anyway, I left a response. Fun fun fun. Sadly, though, I was in the middle of writing this when I received their review. It completely pissed me off and snapped me out of my "writing trance" (well, I didn't feel inspired anymore), and I _JUST_ needed to write the thing for the last stanza!! **I HATE THEM SOOOOOOO MUCH!!** *cries*

 Well it's written, but probably not as good as it would be, since I am sooo mad! Oh, well.

No matter what they say, I'll continue to write. I'm not saying my fics are "excellent," or whatever. Hell, they can improve _immensely._ I'm just saying that I like to write, and I don't think my fics are half bad. Writing is a very subjective thing. If you don't like it, don't just say, "your fic was horrible and you can go to hell," actually tell me _why _it was bad. _That means that I can improve if you hated it so much._ Besides, at least I have OK grammar. I think. Hehe.

Man, that was long. Sorry. On with the fic.

P.S.: Hey MarcFan, you'll be the one to judge if it's a happy ending, if you read this ;)

Imaginary 

_swallowed up in the sound of my screaming_

_cannot cease for the fear_

_of silent nights_

The agony is overpowering. Why am I in so much pain?

The remoteness hurts. That's it.

But I don't know how to be around people. They think I'm revolting. Even when they smile at me I can see the panic in their eyes. Why?

_oh how i long for the deep sleep dreaming_

_the goddess of imaginary light_

I'm tired, but I can't sleep.

…I…never sleep.

Why don't I sleep?

Sleeping must be nice…especially dreaming. Where everything is real…

I turn over in my bed, and the covers rustle noisily. I'm now lying on my side. I wrap my arms around me warmly. My eyes sting. I sigh loudly; it's all I can do. I'm so lonely. I wish I had a friend here I could play with. No – people are mean. They all despise me; I'm nothing but a nuisance. They don't like it when I hurt them. I can't help it. Why don't they understand?

I want mommy. She understands.

_in my field of paper flowers_

_and candy clouds of lullaby_

_i lie inside myself for hours_

_and watch my purple sky fly over me_

I once had a dream. It was really lovely; everything was so calm and serene, and I just watched. There were trees and the most beautiful flowers you could ever see – and a deep, blue sky. 

I wish the world could be like that. Maybe someday? If only I could stop inflicting so much pain…

But I like it, and I don't think I will.

_i linger in the doorway_

_of alarm clock screaming monsters_

_calling my name_

_let me stay_

_where the wind will whisper to me_

_where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story_

They didn't like me around them. I just wish I could be free.

I miss the feeling of the wind.

I miss the feeling of the sun.

I don't know why, though. I shouldn't need anything.

I like quiet, yet I still long for noise.

Why?

_if you need to leave the world you live in_

_lay your head down and stay a while_

_though you may not remember dreaming_

_something waits for you to breathe again_

I'd love to leave this place. To just dream and be rid of it all. But…

They'll get rid of me someday. I know they will. Although… why? 

I shut my eyes tightly and a dry sob forces its way from my mouth. Sickening images flash through my mind repeatedly, and I feel myself burying my head into the blankets; attempting to shut out the voices which screech raucously in my head. It subsides, and my body goes lax for a moment.

Why are they doing this? Please! I just want this! I can't stop! Why? Why are they making me? I can't. Please. I want to leave. I hate this place. It's so lonely. I'm so lonely.

I cover myself completely with the heavy blanket. The warmth spreads throughout my body.

But they'll destroy me, someday, somehow. I just know it. I can feel it in my heart. And then, I will enact my revenge.

They will all suffer as I did.

And then I will dream again.

_in my field of paper flowers_

_and candy clouds of lullaby_

_i lie inside myself for hours_

_and watch my purple sky fly over me_

I open my eyes; the coarse fabric of the pillow is scratching against my cheek. No. Wait, it isn't. I feel something wet. And…

My hand grasps something long and dewy, and just as my eyes focus, my mouth opens in astonishment. I gasp in pure disbelief at the grass clutched in my right hand.

I look up, and see the sky.

~*~

You may not get the ending….she's dreaming. ^^ Not the best of my work, but oh, well. I felt I needed to write something with Evanescence. Maybe I'll do "Whisper" next? :P Hehe. Only time will tell.

BYEZ!

-Samara-chan


End file.
